“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him but, because he loves what is behind him.” G. K. Chesterton
Marriage is pro-gender, pro-sex, pro-child, and pro-life. Unfortunately, marriage is in jeopardy. Six states have redefined marriage, the Associated Press reports that five more are preparing for "costly and bruising statewide showdowns," and countries such as Great Britain and Australia are debating same-sex marriage.
Do some of us support same-sex marriage because we fear the gay lobby? Are we afraid we will be pilloried by the liberal media for supporting gender-integrated marriage? After witnessing the media's contempt for marriage advocates such as Chick-fil-A's Dan Cathy and actor Kirk Cameron, are we afraid that if we speak up for marriage between one man and one woman, we too will be labeled "anti-gay"?
Stop right there. See how effectively the gay rights activists and media are spinning this story? They want to shut down the debate about what is best for marriage and children by deploying their biggest weapon: name-calling.
This is wrong on two counts. One, we won't let fear cause us to abandon the well-being of children and pro-gender marriage. And secondly, we are NOT anti-gay.
Do some of us support same-sex marriage because we fear the gay lobby? Are we afraid we will be pilloried by the liberal media for supporting gender-integrated marriage? After witnessing the media's contempt for marriage advocates such as Chick-fil-A's Dan Cathy and actor Kirk Cameron, are we afraid that if we speak up for marriage between one man and one woman, we too will be labeled "anti-gay"?
Stop right there. See how effectively the gay rights activists and media are spinning this story? They want to shut down the debate about what is best for marriage and children by deploying their biggest weapon: name-calling.
This is wrong on two counts. One, we won't let fear cause us to abandon the well-being of children and pro-gender marriage. And secondly, we are NOT anti-gay.
Defending both genders in marriage does not make us bigots. We have friends and relatives who have same-sex attraction. We do not hate them. We want the very best for them, which means we won’t lie and play along and pretend that two men are the scientific and social equivalent of one man and one woman when it comes to marriage and motherhood. No matter how loving a father is, he will never be a mother.
As Chesterton noted, “The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him but, because he loves what is behind him.” And this is why we defend marriage: Because we love both our mothers and our fathers. We love our husbands and our wives. We love our sons and daughters. We don’t believe children should be deprived of this love and these unique relationships.
We love what came before us: our grandmothers and grandfathers. We don’t consider them bigots even though they never legalized marriage for two men.
We want children growing up in intact families, with both a mother and a father. We don’t want children placed in monogender homes and taught by example that mothers are unimportant. We don’t want to tell those children they shouldn’t even want their mothers because that might hurt the feelings of their two fathers. If we have to choose between depriving children of their mothers or offending adult men, we choose to defend children.
We want to defend our children from growing up being called bigots or hate-filled simply because they believe all children deserve mothers and fathers. We want to love what is ahead of us.
We fight the zealous activists lying to our friends and relatives in monogender partnerships. The activists who claim that sterile, fruitless sex is the social equivalent of complementary, procreative sex. But we don’t fight activists because we hate them. We fight because we love organic truth more than trendy lies. It’s not the liar we hate, but the lie.
We love our genders. We marvel at the differences between men and women. We don’t want to ignore or discount or squelch this diversity. We want to appreciate and love masculinity and femininity, not just in the marital embrace, but also over the morning coffee, at the office meeting, and at the dinner table.
We don’t want same-sex marriage to sterilize our vocabulary. We don’t want the beautiful words bride and mother neutered into partner and parent in speech and on government forms.
We defend our friends and neighbors sued or fined for the "crime" of recognizing and honoring the differences between men and women. Yes, men and women are equal in dignity and worth, but their sexual differences are powerful enough to create new life. No matter how much two men love each other or how committed they are to each other, they can't produce new children for our community.
One of the most basic and powerful diversities on planet earth is gender. We wouldn’t be here without it. And without the integration of genders our society would cease to exist.
So, vive la difference!
And soldier on, not with hate, but with love.
Thank you for this beautiful hymn to the gift of masculinity and femininity!!
ReplyDelete"As complementary friend and helpmate, the man and woman call each other beyond themselves, and in doing so, they help each other reach fulfillment."
- Pope John Paul II
Thank you for kind words and the inspiring quote from JP II
DeleteMany children already grow up with the absence of either a mother or father, or both yet it doesnt always affect the child negatively. You assume that a gay couple with a child automatically, means the child will suffer as a result but studies have shown gay parents are mostly more nurturing and encourage the childs development as opposed to a straight couple. You cannot possibly say that if a gay couple raise a child, the child will obviously lose out, there are too many other factors to consider in the life of a child to make that assumption. Also, if you really mean what you say about loving not hating then surely you want everyone to enjoy their lives and not hide away who they really are and be miserable. Surely if someone wants to vow to love and cherish another person through marriage then they should be allowed to.
ReplyDeleteI have never said that a gay person cannot be a good parent. My point is that no matter how loving and nurturing a father is, he will never be a mother. Do you believe gays' children should be targeted and deprived of either a mother or a father? Do you believe this deprivation is loving?
DeleteYou say "studies have shown gay parents are mostly more nurturing and encourage the childs development as opposed to a straight couple." Can you provide links to these studies? Do you believe only gays should raise children and heterosexual parents shouldn't?
Should we "hide away" a child's legitimate right to know and love a mother and a father? Should we ignore the legitimate needs of children in order to validate the sexual choices of adults?
Yes, marriage is about love and commitment and sex. It is also about gender and children and culture and faith. Don't let gay rights activists box this into a gay issue. Marriage is much bigger than an issue about sexual orientation.